The Other Woman

I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the other Very Important Character in the story of the Sullivans’ travels. SHE is Clara, the GPS system with the plummy English accent. Back when we were still planning this trip, I innocently suggested to Danno that we purchase a GPS system that could operate on his phone. Little did I know what a force she would become in our lives.

In our own, high-tech way, I guess you could say we “met cute.” Danno installed her on the phone, and then as a family we all selected the options that made her who she is today. Danno, Emma, and I all agreed that yes, we liked her best as a female, and that she certainly sounded more trustworthy as a citizen of the British Empire than as an American. Preferences were selected, and Emma dubbed her “Clara.”

Our first journey with Clara was a little jaunt down to San Diego this spring. She was a quiet little thing back then, politely pointing out the nearby Starbuckses (is that a plural?) and announcing that we had reached our destination. We were charmed by her quaint directives to “take the motorway” and even grateful at her non-judgmental ways when we got lost. Upon taking a wrong turn, she would quietly ask us to “turn around when possible,” and, ever chipper, guide us gently on our way.

We have continued to use her extensively on our trip east. She is incredibly useful for gauging distances between cities, estimating travel time, and even anticipating traffic snarls. This is all incredibly helpful, and I am very grateful.

But did you see All About Eve? Remember how nice Eve was to Bette Davis, how kind and gentle and sweet? All that helpfulness just hid a kniving, ambitious go-getter who would let nothing stand in her way in her drive to reach the top.

So I know the score, Clara. I know that the minute we get sloppy and let you take over you are going to take us down and leave us stranded at some creepy moss-covered gas station.

Just know that I’m certainly not letting down my guard anytime soon. AND I’ve got the Michelin Man watching my back.